irreplaceable
by Soot
Summary: Ramirez is fatally wounded in battle. slash harry/ramirez


Title: Irreplaceable

Summary: Ramirez is dying after being fatally wounded in battle.

Disclaimer: I do not own plots/characters/etc.

A/N: _This is my first time posting on this site so I'll probably have a new audience but it's not my first time writing so it should be alright. I'm sure someone will tell me if it's awful; but I hope you like so happy reading. _

"Harry; no more; please no more." Begged Ramirez as I carried him through the forest. The Denarians had selected a secluded location surrounded by miles of forest with no roads for their ambush making any help we needed impossible to reach us.

"I've got to get you medical help." I breathed as I kept moving between the trees in zigzag movements. I began to feel panicked as I realised that I didn't know where we were and that I was now misplaced in an unfamiliar area with a seriously injured friend who desperately needed help.

"Put me down! Put me down please. I'm in agony Harry!" Ramirez begged again as I entered a clearing lit by the light reflecting off the moon. It was a cloudless night as I looked at the sky; the moon was shining brightly upon the clearing and the large motionless body of water nearby while the stars furthest away from the moon shone dimly against the night sky.

I stopped and put him down; his words were like swords piercing me because of the pain and agony that they were spoken with. I laid him down on the ground and knelt next to him. "I'm going for help; I can move faster when I'm not carrying you." I said as I gripped his hand in a reassuring motion that I would come back for him.

"No harry; don't go." Ramirez spoke clearly as I tried to let go of his hand.

"Carlos; I have to." I replied.

"I'm finished anyway." He whispered. "Any help, medical or otherwise, will be futile."

"Don't talk like that." I said but deep down I knew he was right. I tried to pick him up again in sheer desperation and not knowing what else to do; but as he whimpered and tensed up because of the pain I was inflicting on him I gave up the attempt to move him.

"Face the truth Harry; it's over!" Ramirez shouted at me. I could see that he was fighting tears and his heated words towards me were out of frustration. He was powerless to do anything as much as I was.

I did the only thing I could think off; I sat down next to him and pulled him into an embrace in my arms; his head resting against my shoulder. His was going to die; I had now admitted that to myself; but I didn't want to leave him alone in his final minutes. I would never be able to forgive myself if I did that. No one deserves to die alone.

"Harry; can I tell you something?" Ramirez asked quietly.

"Anything." I answered.

"Have you ever wondered why I've never been in a relationship?" I was puzzled by this question and looked at Ramirez who had a small smile on his face.

"Can't say I haven't thought about it." I answered honestly.

"It's because I fell in love with you."

I looked down at him again. His eyes were wide open, sparkling and alert which stood out against his ghostly pale complexion. His lips were crimson red with blood that also coated his mouth and his usually stunning white teeth; the moon light shone on his face with its white glow giving his skin a shocking bleach white appearance instead of its usual healthy glowing bronze. It was almost poetic in a morbid sense.

"That council meeting all those years ago when they tried to hand you over to the vampires; that was when I knew; the first time I saw you instead of just hearing stories about how reckless yet heroic you were."

I could feel my clothes become saturated with Ramirez's blood from his wounds as he spoke to me. It isn't common for me; but I wanted nothing more than to cry at that moment. Ramirez was pouring his heart and soul out to me in his final minutes; things he had kept secret from me for years so it wouldn't affect out friendship or the way I would look upon him. I could feel a lump forming in my throat and I fought to keep my tears at bay. Ramirez didn't need to see me breaking down and sobbing in front of him.

"How you look, how you act, how to talk, your humour, how you appear not to be fazed by anything; it drew me to you like a magnet. Harry; I'm not afraid to say that I fell head over heels for you the moment I laid eyes on you."

"Why are you telling me now?" I fought to keep my voice from quivering.

"Last chance." He smirked but I could read him like an open book. His heart was breaking. "I should have told you years ago but I could never bring myself to voice to you what I truly felt." Silent tears began to fall and form streams down his cheeks. His tears sparkled in the moon light creating the effect of diamond dust sparkling on his cheeks or as though there were actual stars there instead of tears. His tears reached his lips and mixed with the blood already there creating a shimmering effect. I tightened the embrace I held him in and I could feel his breathing becoming more laboured telling me his lungs were filling with blood that would soon drown him unless eternal bleeding or something else took him first.

I felt him shuffle in my arms for a brief moment; his head rubbing against my arm as he tried to get comfy. He looked so young. He no longer looked the age he was; but ten years younger instead. He also looked deathly tired as he began to dig into the last of his energy and strength reserves to remain conscious; trying to reframe from falling into the deep sleep that would be his last.

A few strands of stray hair had fallen across his face and I brushed them away without really thinking about it. I felt him shudder slightly against me. "I'm cold." He whispered into my shoulder.

I felt a tear escape from my eye and glide down my cheek. My heart was breaking; it was either that or someone had driven a stake made of pure solid ice into it. I could feel my emotions that I had kept hidden trying to break free and sweep what little composure that I had left away in a deluge. I tightened my arms around him even more and raised him so I could close the distance between us to kiss him.

I could taste the metallic taste of Ramirez blood as we kissed for the first and last time. I could feel the blood on his lips transfer on to my own and his tears making my cheeks wet. I could feel his pulse pulsate beneath my fingers as one of my hands moved up to his neck to steady him. I felt one of Ramirez hands grab part of my leather duster and grip on to it; using the absolute last of his depleted reserves so not to break the kiss he had longed to happen for so long; his other hand gripping my shirt that covered my chest. His usual scent was mixed in with blood, sweat and dirt but I failed to notice all that much because my heart sang with love, lust and passion as well as horror of knowing that Ramirez would be taken away from me far too soon by cruel fate.

But no matter how much I wished for the inevitable not to arrive; it did and I could feel Ramirez relaxing into my arms as death had begun its final assault on him. His hands that had gripped my clothing so tightly began to loosen their grip and I felt a surge of panic race threw me. I deepened the kiss as Ramirez began to slip away from me as though somehow I could give him some of my life force and death would not be able to take him from me. I believed that love could work a miracle and somehow something would happen that would let Ramirez recover from his injuries and he would be forever in my arms; alive and well.

But that's only in fairytales where everyone gets a happy ending.

But this is reality; and reality is cold and cruel.

I broke this kiss and stared at Ramirez who now lay heavily in my arms. His eyes fluttered open one last time and a small smile graced his features; even with death so near his eyes still held their sparkle. "I love you Harry." He whispered.

"I love you too." I replied and brushed my hand threw his hair desperately craving the physical contact with him one last time.

He closed his eyes as he exhaled one final time and he faded away into darkness.

Ramirez died lying in my arms.

Tears broke free from their barricades and poured down my cheeks as grief overwhelmed me. I sobbed openly not caring about reputation or dignity; nothing else mattered. I brushed my fingers over his cheek which still radiated the heat that came from being alive before I lent down and kissed him lightly on the mouth one last time.

"No one can replace you." I whispered. "You're irreplaceable."

End.


End file.
